Perspective

Part of a divorce in Arizona involving children is a mandatory 4 hour "Parenting Information Program" class.  I attended this class last night.  I was skeptical and not really looking forward to it, which was the attitude of the majority of the class (about 23).  I slowly changed my mind and was glad I attended by the end of the class.  Some highlights were:
- the cost of raising a child from 2009 - 2027 in a medium income family is approximately $225,000, not including college tuition
- the 'ex-spouse' should be referred to as the 'mother of my children' or 'father of my children'
- the relationship going forward should be business-like (professional, respectful, very little emotion, factual)
- make sure all discussions are the focus and perspective of the child(ren)
- share information, as you want to have information shared with you
- teach your children through example of how you handle the situation
- provide continuity / schedule / routine, trust, and security
- communicate with the children honestly at the appropriate age level
- don't plead to have your partner return to the marriage, if they have chosen to leave (why work that hard - you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, not is forced to be with you)

I may have said things in this blog that were taken negatively against Gary.  I apologize for those, as there are always 2 sides to every story.  I still believe that he has broken a covenant that God did not want broken.  However, there are some really bad / abusive relationships out there and I'm grateful that ours is not one of them.  I'll move forward to care for Dylan and ensure I work professionally with Gary in sharing Dylan's life.  He is the father of Dylan and Andrew.

In a daily devotional this morning, I was given yet another perspective.  We have a strong desire, intended by God, to need others.  We don't possess all of the gifts needed.  Independence is a form of too much pride.  There is a healthy balance to achieve that we don't become to dependent vs independent.

Dear heavenly father, continue your work in me.  Help me be strong for my family and help me focus and deliver quality for my employer / team at work.  Work in my heart to be there for my sons to help them through this as well.  Lift us all up to help others know you.