Wonderful friends

Thank you, my friends, for the love, support, and prayers.  I am getting closer to letting Gary go....laying him at the foot of the cross for God to work with and to not pick him back up.  I prayed for Gary last night (work in his soul and life), and I also prayed for Jeanie (to open her eyes - not to be the next victim).

The more time I spend with Dylan, the better off he is.  We got a note from school yesterday.  Dylan has been selected as the Dec/Jan Student of the Month - for displaying strong character in the areas of trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship.  He has also proven to put forth outstanding scholastic effort!  The ceremony is Jan 28 (my birthday).  Gary is out of town, so he won't be able to make it....again.

Gary will support Dylan, when it is convenient for his schedule.  His priorities are all messed up.  That is his decision.  I am not responsible to make Gary accountable.  I need to release that.  It is probably one of the things that Gary doesn't like....me making him responsible.  So, as I did with Andrew, I pick up the slack and make my boys priorities, pouring into their lives and investing in their futures.  Why?  Because I love them and I am their mom.

I am going through a lot of tests / exams for myself.  With Gary's affair during our marriage, I don't know what he may have given to me.  So, we are running all of the tests.....even HIV.  I also have heavy periods.  So, I might be considering a uterus obliteration (vs a hysterectomy).  This would end my child baring years.  But, I will be turning 46 and Dylan took 1.5 years of infertility to get.  When Andrew graduated from high school (Spring), the same year (Fall), Dylan started kindergarten.  So, when Dylan graduates, I will have invested 26 continuous years in primary education with my boys.

There is always adoption, if the thought occurs to me or with whomever God has picked out for me to spend the rest of my life with.  There are so many wonderful children waiting for the love of parents.  I know it is expensive, but infertility is too.  Also, we are ALL the children of God, no matter what color our skin is.  I've had so many friends adopt children from infants on up.  There are struggles, but there are struggles with your own flesh and blood.  Once the adoption is formalized, the parents view them as their 'own' flesh and blood.  Oh boy, I better get off my soap box.  :-)  Yes, I am in favor of adoption.  :-)

Blessings!