Gary, I love you

I miss you deeply and you have been gone less than 24 hours. When we swapped our vehicles back at noon, you offered to give me a hug. Oh I so wanted a hug, but I was confused and said so. You stepped forward and put those arms I so long for around me. Even with 'stuff' being in the other arm, it felt so good.

Before you told me you were leaving, you kissed me so tenderly when you left for an errand. It was so memorable and it scared me. I was confused, as I felt something was up. I didn't know, at the time if it was good or bad. That kiss remains on my lips. It reminds me of our first kiss, which I wanted so much sooner than when it actually came. I pray that it is replaced with a welcome home kiss soon.

I miss your blue eyes, that turn all different kinds of shades with your mood.

I miss your heart, compassion, and honesty. We haven't talked much in the last few months. We should have invested more time into our relationship, instead of letting the schedule of life get in the way. We need to turn away from the screens of life (tv, Wii, computers) and towards another face to experience LIFE and LOVE the way Christ meant for us.

You have such strength and tenderness. I am a lucky woman to have you for a husband. I love you so much!

I told you I still look forward to retiring with you, whether that be in a cabin, a beach house, or a large diesel pusher across the country (I did say I would even get a CDL, if needed, and learn how to back up a big rig - note to others...I don't do well backing up anything that is long or has a hitch). You smiled. I hadn't seen that in a long time.

We've both gone through a lot. I daily remind myself that you put up with me....this strong-willed, hard-headed, independent woman...who scares most men. You can tame me, at times. I love our partnership.

I'll give you the time you need to 'find yourself'. Just don't forget about the ones that love you the most...me, Dylan, and yes, Andrew. You are safe with us. Come home so that we can grow together and stronger.

God is working in both of us. Lord, let Your will be done.

Until you come home, I am in my heavenly Father's loving arms with those he has placed on earth to help us get through this. Of course, when you are home, we will both rest in the arms of our loving Father who probably has figured out that it had to take something pretty big to get through our hard-heads to get us to grow to the next level.

You are the Love of my Life, forever.

Carol, your wife

I don't know if you will ever read this. But, if there is a chance, here it is Lord for your use. May the Spirit moves those he plans to use in this struggle for the resolution HE desires.